Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
