omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
