there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
