What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
