Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
