I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
