Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
