Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
