we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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