Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
