this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
