Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you had me at cake vodka
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
