and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
