Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
