Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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