I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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