is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
