I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
