I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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