her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
