spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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