Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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