We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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