I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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