you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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