Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize