its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
