My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
