maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
