Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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