i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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