It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
