in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
