well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
