Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
