we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
