What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
