So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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