I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
