Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
