Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Randomize
