arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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