When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
