She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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