Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
