I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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