good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
