pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
