I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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