I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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