Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
